Frozen Forever

I look in the mirror but all I see,
is the face of a stranger grinning back at me.

Disappointment plagues me like a shadow.

Standing here,
behind this glass,
they walk past and stare,
at plastic perfection, a frozen smile.
A glimmer of hope,
unfailing desire.
Just what they devote,
is their ever after.
In this wave of emotion,
all glitters gold,
and runs into the ocean,
dissolving forever.
A cloud of dust,
an unwavering scowl,
as if he never knew ya.
All eyes trace you now,
watch you like a hawk,
ready to devour,
all they do is talk.
And after the rain,
You still remain,
holding onto hope,
But as empty and as lifeless as a mannequin.

How long will it take for a heart to heal?
How long will it take 'til I can feel?
How long will it take 'til I can love again?
How long will it take for the nightmares to end?

How long will it take to discover the truth?
Will I ever regain my youth?
Whenever I'm confident to love once more,
A strong, fierce hand, knocks me to the floor.

But one day I will rise again,
despite this constant fear of pain.
I will learn to live and love and feel,
To put the past behind me, so I can heal.

You watch as I exit the bathroom,
black tears streaming down my face.
You ask if I'm ok,
even though you know I'm not.

And I haven't been the same ever since that night.
Being stretched so thin,
I'm torn and confused.
Stumbling from place to place,
a gaping black void in my chest.
It's resonating,
And I swear others can see it.

They whisper in clusters and gaze over at me,
laughing at my ease,
laughing at my lost innocence.

You stole my heart,
you stole my enthusiasm.
And I'll never get it back.

Temptation
keeps pulling her back
by the collar.
This human desire,
inclined to sin,
doomed to fail.
Like a puppet on a string,
these fantasies control
her every living.
And the pain just makes it harder,
to restrain herself next time,
to hold back the tears.
Silence makes it hard to breathe,
to fight through another day.
She wants to feel,
wants to love,
but her heart was shattered.
Lost in the storm.
Fragmented dreams,
crushed hopes,
vacant faces,
divided soul,
same old, same old.
Nothing new.
Just the same four walls,
singing 'leave tonight or live and die this way'.
And as she washes away the night before,
nothing remains but a hanging carcass,
burning her retinas.

That seductive whisper in my ear,
made the butterflies stir.
Their wings glistened red in the light,
watching from the wall, as we laughed,
loved, lived. Not wasting a second,
but living in the moment as if tomorrow would be our last.
And it was.
Your touch grew colder and colder,
your warm smile faded into apathy,
a stare of indifference, a glare of resentment.
The face that would always welcome,
now greets like a stranger,
without recognition, a fatal consequence.
Facing a mirror, an unfamiliar reflection gazes back at me,
with you by its side.
How ironic it is, that now I find myself in the same predicament. Stumbling and groaning over rejection. A hole ripped in my chest.
This window, once clear and bright with sunlight,
grew dark with dirt over time, finally cracking under pressure, shattering due to neglect.
A pretty pink card, torn through use,
was thrown across the table, landing in your lap.
And without a second thought, you gave it a go,
just because it worked for everyone else.
Why fall for the same trick?
Why settle for this rusted engine, continuing on a broken path?
Why force the knife deeper?
This once grand palace, now lies in ruins,
a lost hope, all in vain.
Your desire for revenge has made you foolish,
the wax is slowly melting away.
As the storm rages within,
scarlet overflows, staining this once pure linen and
the beautiful butterflies finally take flight,
never to return.

I awoke with a start,
Memories of that distant night slowly creeping back to me.

I saw your face,
reflecting beauty and radiance,
a sight for sore eyes.

You took my hand and
I squeezed yours back.
Your kiss electrified me,
gave me energy to continue through another difficult day.

And any trial, any hardship was worth it,
if I knew you'd be there to greet me as I walked through the door.

Your love was all I had, needed.

All I could see was you.
All I lived for was you.

And the day you left,
was the day I died.
Lost in the darkness once again,
I wept crimson. Crying out for you to return.

But you didn't.

Now all I have left are the memories of my heart,
memories of your love that no longer exists. You are the ghost that haunts my dreams.
Now I am forever torn. Confused and heartbroken, that I never even knew your name.