Frozen Forever

Sometimes you wonder what is even the point when you try so hard. It seems as if you are trying so much harder than everyone else but everyone ends up hurting you. Every 'best friend' you could ever trust decides to just leave.
Or ignore you.
Well, thanks. After I put so much into helping you I thought you would at least help me as well. Maybe not.


You complain about how you have been hurt and you cry about how you are in an inescapable situation.
But think about those who love you. Think about how they have put their lives on the line for you.
Don't be selfish and act as though you are alone. We try to talk to you but you decide to turn away.
You throw us aside.
Well, don't come running when something goes wrong.
Because we'll be long gone by then.

I scream through the glass, but you ignore me.
You continue to laugh and whisper and kill,
even though I'm pounding on this glass.

I remember holding you tight, to
Keep the nightmares at bay. I'd keep
Telling you that everything was alright. Strange how I can't tell
Myself that. Because
Anything that I do or say you seem to disapprove of.
But with every single syllable you utter,
You force the knife deeper.

I stand in isolation.
Can't you see what happens when you leave me to
Stand alone?
To live without your love is impossible. Because I fear one day I'll
Lose
You. Forever.

With every glare and every whisper,
you twist the knife further.
I wince at the pain,
hurt is all you seem do.

Without me,
You don't seem to change. Without you
I don't know where I stand. I
Vanish.

I have all these thoughts whirling around in my head but I don't even know where the hell to start.
Why the hell did i trust you?
Why should I even bother at all?
What the heck did I do to deserve this?
So you befriend me one minute and reject me the next?
While I put everything into protecting you, you were just plotting this betrayal behind my back? What happened to the time when we agreed? What happened to those innocent times when we could talk about anything? What happened to the time when we would trust each other with the darkest secrets we would never utter to another soul?
What happened?
And now, here I stand alone in this empty room, with nothing left.
Sometimes I wonder to myself, do you ever think of me?
Ever?
Maybe I was better off alone from the beginning. At least that way I wouldn't have wasted so much time, so much energy, on something that wouldn't last.
On something as good as dead.