Frozen Forever

OK. It's saturday night and I'm supposed to be doing something. I was invited out to this stupid 'girly night' but there is no way that they are going to drag me to that. I'm not wasting time making cards, plastic jewellery or whatever.
I went shopping today with my mum and it sort of sucked. she kept making arguments out of nothing. again. also, people in town do my head in. not only do they completely ignore your presence and just practically run into you, in your own line of walking but they make-out practically right in your face as i to say 'hahaha you're single and we're not. loser'.
Also, i hate those people who seem to be walking around town aimlessly and then they suddenly catch your eye and try to offer you a credit card that you dont need or free tickets to a club or free coupons for milkshakes or something. This guy once even offered me his CD'S that were apprently 'free' when i started talking to him but then he suddenly shot 'just give me a tenner' and i ran a mile.
OK so i need to finish some homework and i cant be asked. P.E. is so pointless. I mean, how can you study it? It's something you need to do practically. y'know, actually moving. Ermm... why did you pick it anyway...
hnn... dunno.
Also, when i go back to school, i'll need to start/finish loads of coursework. hahaha. I sooo failed.

-Emily

OK, well, i know it's late but i just have to type something today.
My head hurts so much. But I'm gonna try to type regardless.
Answer this: why is it that the guy that you love so much will never even glance sideways at you but the guy that really loves you from the bottom of his heart, you wouldnt even touch?
Why? I hate the way that things (i.e. relationships, love... etc...) never work for me. It's like i've failed at every single love.
But, what does love actually mean? If you slapped a definition on it, it wouldn't be sponteanous or fulfilling anymore. But it wouldn't have it's imperfections either.
Mind you, with some of the guys that I have liked well... thats what it's been. Just liking. Never loving. It's always infatuation with me. never anything else.
will there ever be a guy that will love me and I love him? Will their ever be a guy that loves me for who I am and not just what I am?