Frozen Forever

I thought the others would fill a gap,
and help me to forget you're not here.

But all it seems to do is worsen the pain,
because losing you is my biggest fear.

I look in the mirror but all I see,
is the face of a stranger grinning back at me.

Disappointment plagues me like a shadow.

Standing here,
behind this glass,
they walk past and stare,
at plastic perfection, a frozen smile.
A glimmer of hope,
unfailing desire.
Just what they devote,
is their ever after.
In this wave of emotion,
all glitters gold,
and runs into the ocean,
dissolving forever.
A cloud of dust,
an unwavering scowl,
as if he never knew ya.
All eyes trace you now,
watch you like a hawk,
ready to devour,
all they do is talk.
And after the rain,
You still remain,
holding onto hope,
But as empty and as lifeless as a mannequin.

How long will it take for a heart to heal?
How long will it take 'til I can feel?
How long will it take 'til I can love again?
How long will it take for the nightmares to end?

How long will it take to discover the truth?
Will I ever regain my youth?
Whenever I'm confident to love once more,
A strong, fierce hand, knocks me to the floor.

But one day I will rise again,
despite this constant fear of pain.
I will learn to live and love and feel,
To put the past behind me, so I can heal.

You watch as I exit the bathroom,
black tears streaming down my face.
You ask if I'm ok,
even though you know I'm not.

And I haven't been the same ever since that night.
Being stretched so thin,
I'm torn and confused.
Stumbling from place to place,
a gaping black void in my chest.
It's resonating,
And I swear others can see it.

They whisper in clusters and gaze over at me,
laughing at my ease,
laughing at my lost innocence.

You stole my heart,
you stole my enthusiasm.
And I'll never get it back.

Temptation
keeps pulling her back
by the collar.
This human desire,
inclined to sin,
doomed to fail.
Like a puppet on a string,
these fantasies control
her every living.
And the pain just makes it harder,
to restrain herself next time,
to hold back the tears.
Silence makes it hard to breathe,
to fight through another day.
She wants to feel,
wants to love,
but her heart was shattered.
Lost in the storm.
Fragmented dreams,
crushed hopes,
vacant faces,
divided soul,
same old, same old.
Nothing new.
Just the same four walls,
singing 'leave tonight or live and die this way'.
And as she washes away the night before,
nothing remains but a hanging carcass,
burning her retinas.