Frozen Forever

Those little things you did;
They way you seemed so indifferent towards everything,
The way it didn't bother you at all.

And how you kicked me while I was down.
In front of everyone.

The humiliation, The hurt, The agony.
The indescribable look on your face.

But from the pain you caused,
I healed and returned stronger then ever.
Like an invincible warrior,
I fought back.

Stabbing me in the back woulda hurt less compared to this;
The way you lift me up, make me feel worth something,
then drop me and watch me fall.

A blaze of pink,
you held in your hand.

As you turn,
those glittering blue eyes smiling back at me.

Shining lights beam from above,
as cheerful melodies play in every direction.

And even though crowds surround us,
you are the only one in my eye.

Nothing seems to have direction anymore.
Its as if our lives have come to a standstill.
And forever we will be separated by bars and walls.
Nothing matters anymore.
We trusted the wrong people and we did some stupid things.
But we loved as if tomorrow would never come and we kissed and lived life on the edge,
Wanting more, squeezing as much into a day as possible.
Waking up, not knowing what the day would bring.
Living our lives without a care in the world, but with the wind in our hair and smiles on our faces.
Gone.
Was it because of me or you?
Are we both to blame?
Does it matter?

Don't know which way to turn.
Every road leads to a dead end.
This nightmare is never ending.

A rebellious spirit and a lonely heart,
can't always belong together.
Not every shoe will fit.

And so, the curtain falls.
As you keep dreaming.
And so, life goes on around you,
As you keep dreaming.

And you keep dreaming.

Feels like reality is a constant lie.
Taking refuge in these imaginings,
Seems to be my only hope.

Falsely believing they cared,
helps me breathe easy,
And stops the truth from surfacing.

And so, the curtain falls.
As you keep pretending.
And so, life goes on around you,
As you keep pretending.

And you keep pretending.

If only I'd known what I know now,
I'd have listened to what you had said.
And only time can heal this pain,
and the emptiness inside.

And so, the curtain falls.
As you keep believing.
And so, life goes on around you,
As you keep believing.

And you keep believing that things will change.

People.
Bodies.
Everywhere.
Going nowhere.
Talking nonsense.
Doing nothing.
Maybe one familiar face
but the others distant, unknown, faded.
Didn't particularly know where I was headed but, nonetheless,
wishing I were elsewhere.
Leaping out at any old stop,
I joined a crowd of suits pushing
past me.
I stumbled down the muddied steps,
not expecting to see,
a pale blue hoodie walking in front of me.
I held my breath in disbelief,
then your name came out in a choke. 
You turned and my heart skipped a beat.
After all this time, I never thought I'd see your beautiful face again.
But you turned.
And it wasn't you.
It was the face of some randomer.
No, it was my mind tricking me into believing that it was indeed you
and that you're still around,
and that you still care for me
and that you still want me
and that you still love me.
Really, your love was just a dream.
And what we had was just a fantasy of mine.
And I was fooling myself.
Living a lie.

Blackened eyes,
Blackened heart.
Lack of judgement,
False start.

One step forward,
Two steps back.
One small promise,
veering off track.

An open mind,
A curious soul.
A bag of lies,
I knew you stole.

Sideline girls,
Waste of time.
Demanding the truth,
Pretending I'm fine.

Bloodied knuckles,
She's so ashamed.
Caught in the act,
They've now been named.

Four months gone,
She now cries in fear.
Two hearts shatter,
And so, it ends here.